Two years and 10 months ago I lost my dad. Cancer finally took over his entire body and we had to say goodbye. You would think that it would be hardest on the day he died and then after. But its not. Its hardest for me from December until February 24th at 0100, which is when we lost him. I can remember everyday leading up to that day. I can also remember telling myself everyday that I will never loose my dad. He will fight this and be that 5% that beats cancer. He will live to be an old crazy man that drives me crazy. He will live to tell me what a great job I am doing as a mom. He will live to see my kiddos grow up and be fantastic. But he didn't and I miss him everyday.
I was pregnant with Emilie when he found out that the cancer was back. I only had Colin so why didn't I go see him everyday? Why didn't I sit and talk to him longer? Why didn't I take more picture of him with Colin? Why don't I have any video's of him? This is why these months leading up to Feb. 24 are so awful. I think of all those things I should have done with and for him.