mini meltdown....

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”

                       - Barbara De Angelis

Every Morning Real Simple Magazine sends my inbox a "daily quote". This was today's and it is exactly what I needed.

Last night I had a mini meltdown. I call it a mini because it could have been a giant meltdown if my husband hadn't stepped in and took the kiddos up stairs, bathed them, read them a billion books and put them to bed.

I then stayed downstairs, felt sorry for myself and finished picking up. After my pitty party I put myself to bed.

This morning I felt a little better but even after 9 hours of sleep I still felt off.

Once I read the above quote it made me think...Why was I such a brat last night? I usually don't freak out if dishes are still in the sink and the kids a spazzing out all over the house. hm mm.

I have a list of reasons but the two that jumped right out at me:

I haven't run in 3 days!!

I forgot to take my vitamins!

What was I thinking!! Did I learn nothing from the first 3 months of Molly's life! I cried and yelled those months and realized that I have to run everyday and I have to take my vitamins.

When Molly was born I got into an awful habit of eating, whining and not running. When I was pregnant with Colin and Emilie I ran through the pregnancies but with Molly I didn't because I had donated a kidney the same month I got pregnant and I was a little afraid to run.

At one of my OBGYN appointments my doctor looked at me and said "running is who you are. If you are not going to start back up running we have to figure something out."

I was so bitter at that point I asked for antidepressants and went on my way. A week of taking them I realized I felt great but that was about it. I was pretty much a shell. With a husband, 2 toddlers, and a baby that was not going to work for me and the family.(*I have nothing against them, I think they are fabulous especially when they work for others*) I threw them away, sucked it up and went for a run.

That day changed everything. My smile was back!! Don't get me wrong I still cried a lot. Hormones are a very powerful thing. As long as I was breastfeeding I was going to have to work really hard to keep them in check and let the tears flow.

Molly is now 13 months old, I am no longer breast feeding and I need to take better care of myself. I have so many excuses but that is all they are excuses.

Suck it up Dana!! Go for a run. You have a 50k to run in a year. Plus a truck load of shorter distance runs starting in May.

And this sweet face is always patiently waiting for me...